my life since september

well it's been such a roller coaster.

i am not alone in arizona anymore, and i couldn't be happier about that.

i've been trying to be better about who i let in my life, who i trust, and it's gotten to the point where i've kept secrets from friends that i should be able to trust.
tomorrow things will be right.
i have a flight t 9:49am, and i'll get to st louis at 1:43.
Dinner at Blueberry Hill will some of the greatest friends i've ever known.
I want to see and experience st louis all over again. i've taken it for granted way too much. especially when i lived there.
i want to go to the art museum and the park behind it.
i even want to go to the zoo and see if the peacocks run around in February.
I want to see all the friends and all the family I can just to see them.
Especially my family. I miss them so much.
I want to see my cousin Tony's baby boy. He just turned 1.



if you're in st louis. text me i probably want to see you.
you might want to check with erin or megan or a mutual friend to see if you have my new number. erin freaked out when she saw i had to get a 480 number.

wow.

i havent updated this in a month.
due to the moving, the drama, the headaches, the heartaches, and so much more.

i'd love to update you all on my life, but i honestly dont know where to start.

hey fall.

Come here.

heres "the plan"

ive been gone for two weeks, came back, i'm leaving for three days and then my family is leaving....


basically my life is fucked right now.
i probably have to get rid of my cat tomorrow.
next week i will be moving into my mom's customer/friends' house.
my mom and my sisters are everything to me.
my mom and sister sam will be moving to phoenix this week.
my sister alex will be doing whatever.
i will be crushed, hurt, upset, broken over this whole thing.
why? because i already am.
i dont know what to do.
i've always had my family to fall back on, and now i wont have them.
mr sparkles is included in that.


but it's alright i'm staying in st louis right?
this is what i wanted?
i dont ever know what i want.
i hate this.

i'd never lie to you....

if you ever feel like you have to lie to me about:

who you are,
who you've slept with,
who you talk to,
what you know,
what someone i care about says,
or what you do when i'm not around....

i dont want to be your friend.




i'm re-evaluating every aspect of my life right now, and i am very happy with how i've been dealing with certain situations. i'm going to become more and more closed. i'm tired of being the girl who is friends with everyone because she blindly puts faith and trust into all her friendships, even those undeserving.

its funny how everyone is connected and how well my friends look out for me. especially cab and aileen. they tell me how a person is whether they know them or not, and they've both never steered me wrong. i need more people like them in my life.

i need less people to lie to me about things that werent ever said, and never happened. im not afraid to ask a person about a situation, so before you run your mouth, make sure it's the truth.

this concludes my soapbox blog on this stupid thing.
have a nice day.
and text me/bbm me/email me/etc.
tomorrow i work 9-8 and then saturday i work 430-11.
sunday begins the journey! :D
where is bee and jess? we having planning to do.

Use and Abuse.

Do NOT for one second think you can use me, or my friend, especially my friends.
If their music and seeing them is that important to you, buy a ticket like everyone else. I do it. I'm sick and tired of selfish, spoiled elitist bullshit.
This is not a fucking contest.


Do NOT at ALL think you can pretend to like one of the boys to get to another. Seriously. Especially one that I'm close to.




New information on girls NEVER is good. I really am glad Cabby turned out to have such a great sense of character and was wise enough.
Band boys arent even that great to like/date. It never turns out to be as easy as you thought and someone always gets hurt. Usually because of girls like you who fuck around with them. Not even sexually, but emotionally... we all know you've done both. None of us give a shit. Stop it.



The worst part is, I can't even say anything without more problems arising.
I hope these boys smarten up.

patienceeeee

So I've been at work for nearly 4 hours and I have 4 left. This is after my 5 hour shift this morning. My client is napping because he had a seizure and so I've watched Ellen and 3 episodes of Psych. I am so exhausted and the week is only half up. I'm glad that I have the best job in the world.

However. I'm getting so impatient for July to be here. And for all the fun that comes with it. Warped Tour and Texas and HTL. Its so so so exciting.

Well he's finally up. So I'm off to do real work. Text me.