i'm looking for a word.

to give myself a glimpse of what i'm feeling right now:
betrayed.
indiginant.
reproachful.

but most of all, i'm hurt.

i'm so sick and tired of trusting so many people in my life.
how i count on the people who are close to me to support me.
and how my own family cant just be in my corner for once.

i know everyone is probably sick of reading these stupid bulletins about me complaining about everything mediocre in my life. about how depressed and how stupid i am. about how happy i am with these people. about all the great times i've had and about how stupid and bipolar my life is. the truth is, i'm sick of it too.
i just wish there was some way to be positive that there are people in this world that care about me.
but i give up.
i can't do all this anymore.
no matter what it is; family, boys, friends... i always end up getting hurt.
so i'm done caring.