The Love.

ok, first and foremost. there is a fine line between friends, fans, whores, and groupies. i dont know what it is about ap tour, but the word "groupie" has been haunting sam, becca, and now has traveled to me. through people who really dont understand us or why we do what we do. we understand each other, we understand why we do it, and if you cant then don't make judgements on us.

i've been arguing with an iowa girl who isnt even old enough to get a driving permit in the state of missouri, about how i am nothing what she thinks. apparently she was one of the "last" girls who "waited the longest to get shrugged off" when i came up because jack left as soon as he told me to meet him on the bus for a shower. he didnt say that. but i'm tired of defending myself, when this girl is dead set on what she (mis)heard. i'm sorry to say that if you are not one of the 190 people that is my friend on myspace, then you will not be able to talk to me, at all. because i'm not dealing with stupid shit like this. i'm sorry that poeple in iowa cannot hear, nor drive.

anyways, on some better note: i get to see a LARGE group of boys i've been missing on wednesday and my lovely lovely friend karissa i'm always missing. i dont see that girl enough.

i really, really like this boy and it's seriously driving me nuts. im so sick of boys messing with my head. i just wish everything was as clear as i'd like it to be. i mean, i'm not about to start yelling from towers that i like this boy, and i'm not about to fall for him. he just seems like the kind of guy i could have fun with and he isnt attatched.

i need maps to what seems like every person i come in contact with. everyone builds up these walls, and starts these mysteries about themselves, that should never really exsist. i know i trust people easily, and i know i'm vulnerable, with absolutely nothing to back it up. if anything i should be putting up walls and making myself a mystery but i really think that people should be just a little more trusting. i'm not saying full on trust everyone, but let some people in. i'm just saying.

with everything going on right now, i've still been feeling extremely hopeful. i'm not sure why, but i like this sense of optimism i have lately and i have absolutely no intentions on letting it go.

i've been finding myself listening to some songs that leave a smile on my face:
"the love" - the morning light
"bright lights" - matchbox 20
"whatever it takes" - lifehouse
"perfect scene" - mercy mercedes
"must have been love" - pat mcgee band
"stay out" - hit the lights
"gotta get out of here" - the fully down
"half boyfriend" - jay brannan
"88s" - farewell




Our lives are separate roads
We've picked our separate ways
But this love I've found reminds me every day
That I still believe in you
I still have faith.

I have faith that you'll find your way.
And realize your mistakes.
Cause I can't handle another night alone.

And so I'm try'n to find words to convince you to stay.
Try'n to pick myself up
But you're getting away.
I keep falling down.
The words won't come out.
My tongue twists in circles keeps them trapped in my mouth.
But I need the ocean or it's sand
Or the high that I felt when you first held my hand.
And honey I just can't feel right alone.
Alone.

Is there hope for this?
Cause it's you that I miss.
And I can't handle another night alone.